i really am so confused. i don’t even know what i want. i think about you 24/7. I cant keep you out of my head. Everything reminds me of you, we went through so much together, everything goes back to you. I would be absolutely fine with that, if it was the same for you. I just want to know what goes through you head when i come to mind. I want to know what you think about me, I want to know what you tell other people about me. I want to know how you feel about me. Because I am the one you call when you are bored and want someone to talk to. Im the one you talk to. You say you want to kiss me and you are all over me, but you say the nicest  things in the world, and i really don’t understand how you don’t have at least a little bit of feelings for me. Maybe its just all in my head. i don’t know, i dont know anything. School is almost over, what the fuck am i going to do without you for three months. I am so used to seeing you everyday. What am i going to do.. I am never going to make it. I tell you i dont like you and i dont want to be with you, when in reality i think we both know i care more than anything about you. And i just want you to tell me  you feel the same way. I want to be able to call you mine, and i want to be able to come over everyday. I want you to tell people you like me and i want you to hold me. That night at your house was one of the best ever. And i want to do it again so bad. But i know you want stuff from me and im scared. I am so scared that once stuff happens you will just leave. I dont want it to be like that, you’re my bestfriend and im not yours. you dont tell people were bestfriends you dont do that for me, and i do it for you. I want to come over and play basketball and go swimming and be cute. i know you think of me as someone you can just do anything with, and i wouldnt mind being that, but i am a huge pussy and i dont want to come over and chicken out and then you be pissed at me. I dont want it to be like this. things should just happen. I hate planning shit. I hate everything about this. I hate how i have to do something in order to make you happy and your smile can just make me happy. I just want to kiss you all over because i want you so bad. but i cant even tell you that. Because we’re just friends.